Unfriended.

Full Disclosure: I haven’t seen this movie, and I don’t know if I ever will. Actually no, I think I will watch it someday, just not someday soon. This I know. In any case, there’s a reason I used this video aside from the fact that it’s the title of this blog post. You’ll see that below…maybe. Or maybe this blog post is a trap. You never know.


Maybe I’m crazy, but the idea of “unfriending” people on Facebook that either don’t talk to you or chronically ignore your messages isn’t a bad one to me. Sure, we’re all busy, but last I checked, I’m also not naïve. While it’s perfectly normal for people to fall out of touch over time, it’s another thing for someone believed to be a friend to just flat-out ignore messages without any explanation or apology whatsoever.

Social networking is a great way to build bridges, but it’s a tragic way to burn them at the same time. I have a very basic philosophy of treating others the way you want to be treated, and I despise two-faced people. Growing up in Boca Raton, it was something I was faced with daily, so as I’ve matured into an adult, I’ve developed a natural defense mechanism against the wiles of such people. It’s better not to engage with or entertain them, because it never achieves a desired result.

Here’s a scenario: You have someone who is clearly very active on Facebook, liking, sharing, and commenting on various different posts of other people. This person even likes yours from time to time. However, while in public, this person, who is not known for being shy or introverted by any stretch of the imagination, completely ignores you. Walks right past you in empty hallways, even. Is that a friend? I would venture to say no. Personally, I find this behavior to be quite bizarre and disappointing.

Here’s another one: You have someone you know is very clearly active on social media. They accomplish many of the same activities the first person does, yet they ignore each and every one of your messages. Now, the natural reaction is that the person never checks them or something, but not always. Facebook Messenger has a feature where you’re notified when the sent message is delivered, received, and seen by the recipient. If that is also happening along with your repeated attempts to open the lines of communication, and the person remains active on said social media platform, there’s a disconnect and a blatant disinterest in conversation. Houston, we have a problem.

There are times I’m suspicious about why people really add you on Facebook if they have no real intention to talk to you. Upon my acceptance into law school in 2013 and the news of a recent job acquisition a few months back, I noticed an influx of friend requests from people I knew but weren’t friends with and former friends from years past that consciously separated themselves from me. With that said, Facebook and other forms of social media, it seems, are a way for people to be nosy without their being called out on it. Think about for a moment: What’s a great way to follow what someone’s doing without being accused of stalking? Facebook! It’s genius! You need only follow posts and photo uploads and all of your questions are answered!

So maybe that’s why some people do it. Maybe I’m strange [okay, I am, I accept it], but I also have this policy where (excepting special circumstances), if I’ve never had a conversation with you in public, I’m not adding you as a friend on Facebook. We have not reached such an impersonal world to where a friend request is how you introduce yourself to someone. I refuse to be a part of that world. It’s simple: If you’d like to be acquainted, come say hello. Don’t hide behind a laptop screen. It’s easy enough for internet trolls to do so, therefore leave that sort of behavior to them. They flourish on that sort of thing and they’re cowards for it. That sets a rather unfortunate precedent for the future, so remember the art of interpersonal communication.

So how do I conclude this? Let’s try this: I’m a human being. I don’t have room for fake people in my life. I don’t have a problem meeting and/or befriending new people, but do it properly if you’re the initiator. Facebook won’t do your job, and I know when someone’s being nosy. I’m a reasonable man, and I try to look at things from varying perspectives, but I don’t feel I should have to deal with being ignored, if that is the case.

Just be real.

 

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